The Quiet and the Bold: How Understanding Personality Types Can Lead to Success

Do You Know Your Personality Type?

Personally, I identify as an introvert, and I am happy to say that I am proud of that. Whether I was born this way, or my early life circumstances shaped my personality, I’ve come to appreciate the unique strengths that come with being introverted. Growing up, I was raised by grandparents from the Greatest Generation, who followed the mindset that “children should be seen, not heard.” I used to think this upbringing was the reason I leaned toward introspection and quietness. However, recent studies have shown that the brains of introverts and extroverts are actually designed differently, which has given me a different perspective. Now, I believe my introversion is partly due to genetics and partly because I was raised in a way that allowed me to fully embrace and enjoy my natural, introspective state. I was given the space and encouragement to spend time with my own thoughts, and that’s something I truly value. While I didn’t realize it at the time, being encouraged to spend time in quiet reflection helped shape my success with school, work, and extracurricular activities during my adolescent years.

Note: Introverts are more likely to be gifted in a particular area or excel in an extracurricular activity because they are willing to spend hours alone practicing and mastering their craft.

Growing Up Is Hard

As I grew older and became more aware of societal pressures, I found it increasingly challenging to embrace my introversion. American society tends to favor extroverted personalities, making opportunities for introverts harder to come by. In school, in careers, and in everyday life, extroverts often receive more attention, praise, and promotions. This preference is understandable—extroverts are naturally charismatic, seek attention, and engage actively with the world. It’s no surprise that society is drawn to these qualities. I, myself, am not immune to the extrovert personality. I married an extrovert. 

Even though the reasoning behind the preference for extroverts is understandable, this societal preference toward extroverts can make it difficult for introverts to thrive if they don’t recognize and harness their unique strengths. Without self-awareness and acceptance, it’s easy to feel overshadowed or undervalued in a world that often highlights extroverted traits. Trust me, I’ve been there. I spent my 20s and 30s feeling overshadowed and undervalued because I didn’t understand my own personality. I viewed my introverted traits as weaknesses rather than strengths.

Note: Extroverts tend to have better relationship building and networking skills due to their innate ability to embrace the external world.

The Turning Point

One day, probably about ten years ago, I heard about Susan Cain’s book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. My journey towards self-realization and acceptance began with this book. I didn’t know what an introvert was, but I was intrigued. For the first time, I saw my introverted traits described in a positive light. It made me realize that the characteristics I once viewed as weaknesses were, in fact, strengths that I could leverage in both my personal life and career.

Fast-forward a few years, and I was working in Career Services at a college, diving into Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) reports with students. To help them make sense of their results, I had to really get to know the ins and outs of all the different personality types. Every time I walked through Extroversion versus Introversion in a coaching session, I’d have these little "ah-ha" moments about myself—like, "Oh, so that’s why I do that!" It was even more rewarding to see students light up with their own realizations, figuring out how to tap into their natural personalities to set themselves up for success.

Note: As a Career Coach, I emphasize the importance of discovering and understanding one’s individual traits. The label of introvert or extrovert isn’t important. What is important is understanding how you ‘tick’ and how to use that knowledge to your advantage.

You Might Be an Introvert If…

So, what is an introvert? There's often confusion about the distinction between introverts and extroverts. Many people mistakenly think that extroverts are outgoing while introverts are shy. However, this oversimplification doesn't fully capture the true nature of these personality types. It can even lead some introverts to misidentify as extroverts simply because they have many friends or enjoy socializing. Having a social life doesn’t necessarily mean someone is an extrovert.

Introverts are wired differently from extroverts and each approaches life and career in distinct ways. The easiest way to think about it is ‘inner world versus outer world.’ Introverts are more attuned to their inner world—they spend a lot of time in their heads, reflecting and thinking. On the flip side, extroverts draw their energy from the outer world, fueled by the people and things around them. It should come as no surprise that as an introvert myself, I’ve spent plenty of time pondering these differences.

Almost every article or blog you read on the topic will talk about how introverts prefer solitary activities or small groups rather than large social gatherings. They’ll also mention how introverts need alone time to recharge. While these are common traits of introverts, they aren’t the only indicators. Here are some other clues that you might be an introvert, drawn directly from my “ah-ha” moments:

·       Do you find yourself going down thought rabbit holes during meetings? Introverts often spend more time in deep thought on various topics. I’ve come to recognize when this happens during staff meetings. For example, I might still be considering all angles of agenda item #1 while the presenter has already moved on to item #2 or beyond. Then I realize I’ve missed information and don’t know what the presenter is currently discussing. Worse, if the presenter asks for my input, I might appear inattentive because I’m not ready to respond to the current topic. If this sounds familiar, don’t worry—you don’t have a short attention span; you’re probably just an introvert.

·       Do you miss things around you? As I navigate the world with my extroverted spouse, I’ve had many “ah-ha” moments about what he notices versus what I take away from the same experience. For example, we can be walking through the mall, and he’ll say, “Did you see that person’s shirt?” 99% of the time, my reply is, “No, I didn’t see that.” As an extrovert, he takes in the world around him visually. As an introvert, I’m more focused on avoiding obstacles or bumping into anyone. I may appear to be looking at the same thing or in the same direction, but I’m actually “looking” inside my head, lost in thought about something else. If this sounds familiar, don’t worry—you don’t have poor observation skills; you’re probably just an introvert.

·       Do you consider yourself a slow reader? Do people finish books more quickly than you? In school, did classmates finish reading passages before you? Do you find yourself stuck on the same page in a book for what seems like an extended amount of time? A few months ago, I was traveling with my husband, and we purchased Dave Grohl’s book The Storyteller at the airport. Both of us were interested in reading it, so on the airplane, I held the book while my husband read over my shoulder. As I was reading, I found myself trailing off into deep thought about Dave’s life events, while my husband, out of the corner of my eye, was already fidgeting, looking around, and ready to move on. It was clear he had quickly read through the pages and was waiting for me to catch up. That’s when I had an “ah-ha” moment—the introverted brain naturally spends more time in deep thought, which can make us slower readers. If this sounds familiar, don’t worry—you don’t have poor reading skills; you’re probably just an introvert.

Note: Managers and leaders can build highly successful teams by recognizing and leveraging the unique strengths of both extroverts and introverts, allowing each to work in ways that play to their natural strengths.

Using a Wrench as a Hammer

I share these examples because it’s important for each person to understand their personality and how to use their natural, built-in skills to their advantage. For introverts, this means not just recognizing their preference for alone time or smaller groups but truly embracing their unique attributes. I hope my "ah-ha" moments might prompt you to have an "ah-ha" moment of your own. If you don’t understand how you work most efficiently, you can’t use your strengths effectively. Think of it like a tool. A wrench is designed to tighten and loosen bolts, while a hammer is designed to drive or pull nails. Imagine trying to use one in place of the other. Could you still complete the task? In some cases, yes—you could technically drive a nail into a piece of wood using a wrench. However, is this the most efficient way to accomplish the task? No, a hammer would be better. Over time, using the wrench for a job it wasn’t designed for would cause unnecessary wear and tear. Similarly, knowing your strengths and using them appropriately is key to achieving success without unnecessary strain.

I Was a Wrench Trying to Be a Hammer

For years, I was a wrench trying to be a hammer—forcing myself to fit into a mold that didn’t align with my true nature. I spent a significant portion of my career trying to embody the extroverted traits I thought were necessary for success, ignoring the strengths that came naturally to me as an introvert. This approach left me feeling drained and ineffective, and it didn’t bring me the fulfillment or success I was striving for.

It wasn’t until I embraced my introverted personality and recognized the value of my natural traits—like deep thinking, reflection, and a preference for meaningful connections—that I began to thrive. By understanding who I truly am and leveraging those strengths in the right way, I was finally able to build a successful career that not only aligns with my personality but also brings me genuine satisfaction. Just like using a wrench for the task it was designed for, I found that when I used my unique strengths in the right context, everything clicked into place.

As a career coach, I specialize in helping individuals uncover their true selves and chart a path to career success based on their natural strengths. Whether you're an introvert who thrives in quiet reflection or an extrovert energized by social interaction, understanding and embracing your unique personality traits is key to unlocking your full potential. Throughout the year, I offer various workshops tailored to different groups, including a specialized workshop for introverts where we delve into strategies for leveraging your introspective strengths to excel in your career. By embracing who you are, you can achieve success on your own terms.

Visit my website to learn more about my career coaching services.